Experts explain how this “magic” trick really works.
Few forces are more powerful than a full-blown toddler tantrum. In those moments, when parents cycle through snacks, bribes, gentle-parenting scripts, and increasingly unhinged negotiations, all to no avail, it’s understandable they’d try almost anything. Including, apparently, summoning a mysterious woman named Jessica.
Having fallen out of popularity since its heyday in the ’80s, “Jessica” has found new life, not in classrooms, but in viral parenting videos.
Across TikTok, desperate moms and dads are shouting the name mid-meltdown and watching in stunned silence as their toddlers abruptly stop crying and look around for this offscreen character.
For Tiffani Ortega, a Florida mom, the tactic came out of sheer exhaustion. Her toddler, Luca, was in the middle of a familiar post-park meltdown while being buckled into his car seat, which he apparently “did not like,” she told Today.
In a viral clip, her husband can be heard saying, “Come here, Jessica. He’s crying. Are you going to stop crying? Because Jessica is coming. You want Jessica to come?”
The result was immediate: Luca was miraculously silent.
Meanwhile, in California, Evanthia Davis had a nearly identical experience with the viral hack. Hearing her daughter Delilah crying inside, she called out, “Jessica!”
Delilah stopped mid-cry and began looking around for Jessica.
“Wow, this worked so well. This will be my new go-to when my baby / toddler cries,” Davis wrote in the caption.
Yet another mom shared that she’s tried the trick three times. Each time, her daughter “magically stops crying and starts looking for the Jessica that does not exist.”
This is such a golden trick for a toddler having a tantrum!! Jessica, where are you??? To the mom who originally posted this, thank you!!
Naturally, the Internet had thoughts.
“Jessica, the new HR director of toddlers,” joked one person, while another added, “Jessica must run a strict program because these kids are shook.”
Why the Jessica parenting trick works
As funny as it looks, there’s actually some science behind why it works. As Dr. Deborah Gilboa told Today, toddlers have an impressive amount of “perseverance” and “object permanence,” meaning they remain upset long after the inciting incident.
Why are parents to yelling “Jessica” at their toddlers mid-meltdown? Honestly, there’s some real science behind why it works. What parents are accidentally stumbling onto is called a pattern interrupt. A toddler in a meltdown has a brain completely locked in an emotional loop, and an unexpected neutral stimulus can break that cycle and create a window for redirection. The key word is neutral. It works because it’s surprising, not because it’s scary or threatening. The moment your child feels alarmed or confused by what you’re doing, you have added fear to an already overwhelmed nervous system. That is not a win. That makes it worse. And here’s what nobody in these videos is saying: this stops working fast. Children habituate quickly. Once Jessica is familiar, the novelty is gone and so is the effect. It is one tool for one moment, not a parenting strategy. There are so many versions of this on TikTok. The dad who suddenly starts singing and acting silly and watches his toddler dissolve into giggles is doing the exact same thing, just with humor and connection as the interrupt. The mechanism is identical. The delivery is warmer. My personal favorite is taking them outside. Get down to their level. Touch some bark together. Listen for birds. That is a pattern interrupt too, just one that also shifts the nervous system through nature, curiosity, and connection. Tantrums are developmentally normal. Your toddler is supposed to have big feelings they do not yet have the brain wiring to manage. Your job is not to shut those feelings down. It is to help them move through safely. Save this for the next meltdown. Follow for more and drop your question below. I read them and your question might be the next one I answer.
However, as child psychiatrist Dr. Willough Jenkins explained in a TikTok video, saying something unexpected, like “Where is Jessica?”, creates a “pattern interrupt.” That surprise pulls the upset kiddo out of the emotional loop, giving parents enough time to redirect their focus.
Experts say distraction techniques like this can be helpful in the moment, especially when emotions are running high. Redirecting attention, introducing something novel, or even changing the environment can help de-escalate a tantrum long enough for a calmer interaction to follow.
Of course, like all good magic tricks, it probably won’t work forever. Once your toddler catches on that Jessica never actually arrives, her power may fade.
Until then, she remains a surprisingly effective, slightly chaotic ally for parents everywhere. And hey, in the middle of a grocery store meltdown, we’ll take what we can get.
