They’d gone over the plan a hundred times. The blonde and brunette were certain their bank robbery would go down in criminal history – though not quite how they imagined.
“Okay, final check,” the brunette said, parking around the corner from the bank. “What’s your job?”
The blonde counted on her fingers. “Neutralize the guard, access the money, quick exit. Easy peasy.”
“Five minutes,” the brunette stressed. “Not a second more.”
The blonde disappeared into the bank. The brunette’s watch ticked loudly. Six minutes. Seven. Eight. Then – BAM! – the bank doors flew open.
The blonde emerged, sweating and straining against a rope tied to the massive bank vault, dragging it across the pavement like a disobedient pet. Behind her, a red-faced security guard hobbled awkwardly, his uniform in disarray.
After a comical struggle to load the vault into their car, the blonde gave up and they sped away, leaving the vault bouncing down the street.
The brunette’s voice reached new octaves. “WHAT POSSESSED YOU TO BRING THE WHOLE SAFE?”
The blonde blinked innocently. “You said to secure the money! I secured all of it!”
“FOR THE LOVE OF – I MEANT SECURE THE GUARD AND TAKE THE MONEY FROM THE SAFE, NOT TAKE THE WHOLE SAFE AND LEAVE THE GUARD!”
Somewhere behind them, the security guard was still trying to run after the bouncing vault, his pants now completely missing.
