\u201cThe biggest mistake people make is they talk a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Isn\u2019t it wild to think that spies<\/a> are actually real? Governments all over the world send secret agents<\/a> to other countries to steal information or conduct missions. The key element that makes a spy, of course, is the secretive nature of their work. They go undercover, sometimes even wearing disguises, and carry out their missions without attracting attention. That means they\u2019re masters of psychology and social science rather than combat and weaponry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In a revealing interview with Steven Bartlett on his \u201cDiary of a CEO\u201d<\/u><\/a> podcast, former Secret Service Special Agent Evy Poumpouras<\/u><\/a> shared how to get people to do what you want them to do. The key, according to Poumpouras, is to understand what motivates them. Once you know the psychological framework behind what makes them tick, you can persuade them to behave as you like.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Poumpouras is the co-host of Bravo TV\u2019s \u201cSpy Games\u201d<\/a> competition series and author of \u201cBecoming Bulletproof: Protect Yourself, Read People, Influence Situations, Live Fearlessly.\u201d<\/a> She served in the Secret Service\u2019s Presidential Protective Division for President Barack Obama<\/u><\/a> and First Lady Michelle Obama<\/u><\/a> and protected George W. Bush, Bill Clinton<\/a> and George H.W. Bush.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Poumpouras says that to get a \u201cgood read\u201d on someone, it\u2019s essential to listen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Former U.S. Secret Service Special Agent Evy Poumpouras shares how to get someone to do what you want ?<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n \u201cThe biggest mistake people make is they talk a lot,\u201d Poumpouras said in the video clip. \u201cSteven, if I\u2019m doing all the talking and you\u2019re doing all the listening, you\u2019re learning everything about me. You\u2019re learning about what I care about, my values, my belief systems, getting a good read on me and I\u2019m learning nothing about you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The former Secret Service Agent says that you should listen to determine the subject\u2019s motivational mindset. Are they motivated by money, sex, admiration, status, freedom, relationships, or safety?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cEverybody\u2019s motivated by something different. But I have to hear you and pay attention to you to understand what that is. Everybody\u2019s purpose is different,\u201d she continued. \u201cIf you give people enough space, they will reveal themselves to you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n To be clear, Poumpouras isn\u2019t in the business of helping people trick others. Instead, she hopes the techniques she teaches will, \u201cIncrease your self-confidence, your self-worth, and your ability to trust and believe in yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The commenters on TikTok loved the advice:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPeople are so interested in themselves and want to talk about themselves\u2026 We give our power away by talking.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cChanged my life when I was told to stop filling the silence\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAs a parent, I needed this reminder too.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Yes, the parents came out in full force to support Poumpouras\u2019 tip. Perhaps no one, other than espionage experts, better understands the importance of learning how to get other people to do things without threats and violence. (OK, sometimes there are threats).<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s also a wonderful tactic because your subject will have no idea they are part of a manipulation because they are the ones doing the talking. It\u2019s nearly impossible to give yourself away when you\u2019re sitting in silence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Understanding what motivates people is essential when protecting the safety of the nation\u2019s most important assets and dealing with shady, dangerous people. But it\u2019s not only useful for spies and double agents.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n This so-called \u201ctrick\u201d can also benefit the layperson by giving us a framework to understand people better. Knowing what motivates someone is very important, whether you\u2019re on a date, in a business deal, or in a leadership role <\/u><\/a>at work. It\u2019s also very important when raising children or training an animal.<\/u><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n\n
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