{"id":7895,"date":"2026-04-26T18:25:07","date_gmt":"2026-04-26T18:25:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/?p=7895"},"modified":"2026-04-26T18:25:09","modified_gmt":"2026-04-26T18:25:09","slug":"hostage-negotiator-shares-her-5-keys-to-resolving-conflict-in-our-everyday-lives","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/?p=7895","title":{"rendered":"Hostage negotiator shares her 5 keys to resolving conflict in our everyday lives"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Karleen Savage is also a mother of 7, so conflict resolution is definitely her specialty.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As much as we might wish people could always get along peacefully<\/a>, the reality is that we don\u2019t. Human dynamics are complex and rife with opportunities for conflict<\/a>. How we handle that conflict can mean the difference between thriving or struggling relationships<\/a>, cordial or contentious workplaces<\/a>, and healthy or dysfunctional households. Being able to defuse and resolve conflict might just be one of the most important life skills for us to learn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And who better to learn conflict resolution from than a hostage negotiator who also happens to be a mother of seven and wife of three decades? In addition to managing a large family, Karleen Savage has a master\u2019s degree in conflict resolution and negotiations and is a certified hostage and crisis negotiator. Her experiences led her to create the \u201cSavage Theory of Resolution<\/a>,\u201d a five-skills model to resolve any conflict.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She explains the basis for these five skills in her TEDx Talk:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhen you\u2019re in an argument with your spouse or with your teenager, there\u2019s no backup SWAT team standing by to help,\u201d Savage said. \u201cIt\u2019s just you, and that means the stakes are as high as they can get.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She noticed in her work that poor decisions often stood in the way of people getting what they wanted. She also saw how the skills professional negotiators use could \u201cmiraculously move people from rigid to resolved.\u201d In exploring the question of whether normal people could use those professional skills in their own everyday lives, Savage created her five-skill framework<\/a>: Curiosity, Attitude, Master Listening, Connection, and Reframing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Curiosity<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Savage focused her TEDx Talk on this skill because it unites all the others and is key to resolving conflict. It\u2019s also not an intuitive skill to tap into when we are in conflict and feel insistent that we are in the right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"questions,<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Curiosity involves asking questions. She challenges people to experiment with asking someone questions for 15 minutes without any prompts or responses, just letting them answer. She also invites people to think of a conflict they had with someone and ask themselves these three questions, which reflect what negotiators in high-stakes situations strive for:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
  • Did you allow them to have their own story independent of yours?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Were you willing to hear their story without the emotional or verbal backlash that we are so good at?<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  • Did you allow their story to become part of the solution?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n

    Savage shares on her website that curiosity \u201cencourages individuals to ask insightful questions that help uncover the underlying motivations and thought processes of others\u201d and \u201cpaves the way for open, constructive dialogue.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Though her talk focused primarily on the role of curiosity, the other four skills are vital for successfully resolving conflict:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Attitude<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    How we look at a conflict and the mindset we bring to it make a big difference.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cThe best attitude you can bring to any fight is to be fully present, but not take on the burden of solving others\u2019 problems,\u201d she wrote. \u201cMaintaining a supportive and empathetic attitude is crucial for effective conflict resolution.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"conflict,<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

    Master Listening<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    Savage acknowledges that it can feel overwhelming and frustrating to be on the receiving end of accusations in an argument, but that they can be navigated with clarity and control through effective listening.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cListening is more than just hearing words\u2014it\u2019s about fully understanding the intent and emotions behind those words,\u201d Savage wrote. \u201cMaster listening involves being fully attentive and responsive, ensuring diffusion and clear points of thought.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Connection<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    Savage notes that the key to resolving conflict often lies in creating a sense of connection, making sure that both sides feel heard and understood:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cConnection is the ability to create mutual understanding between conflicting parties. It\u2019s about using phrases that express empathy and checking that both sides are on the same page. This helps build rapport and trust, making it easier to find common ground.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"puzzle<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

    Reframing<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

    Even difficult arguments can be opportunities when you reframe the conflict as such, according to Savage:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \u201cAfter navigating through the other skills, reframing is the process of presenting all the information in a way that highlights truth, options, and solutions. It\u2019s about shifting the conversation from conflict to collaboration, allowing both parties to focus on actionable outcomes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    If these skills can be used to negotiate hostage situations and defuse high-level, high-stakes conflict, surely they can be utilized when we have disagreements with people in our everyday lives.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Karleen Savage is also a mother of 7, so conflict resolution is definitely her specialty. As much as we might wish people could always get along<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":7896,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-7895","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/04\/681909635_1438915798269407_5204652793571502462_n.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7895","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=7895"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7895\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7897,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7895\/revisions\/7897"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/7896"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=7895"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=7895"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=7895"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}