The researchers found that when approaching someone you have never met<\/u><\/a>, asking a question and then 2 follow-up questions dramatically increases your likeability. The study was conducted by Harvard researchers and published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.<\/u><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe identify a robust and consistent relationship between question-asking and liking,\u201d the study\u2019s authors write. \u201cPeople who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are better liked by their conversation partners.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The study should be a big relief to shy people and introverts who are not interested in trying to impress people by going on and on about themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n According to the research, when you meet someone new at a party, the important thing is to approach them like it\u2019s an interview, and you are the journalist. You just need one strong opening question<\/u><\/a> and then you can follow up 2 times by asking them to clarify what they meant or expand on something they said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThink to yourself, I need to ask at least five questions in this conversation, or I need to ask questions in this conversation, listen to the answers, and ask follow-up questions. It\u2019s easy to do, and \u2014 even better \u2014 requires almost no preparation,\u201d Alison Wood Brooks, assistant professor and Hellman Faculty Fellow at Harvard Business School and a co-author of the study, said, according to Forbes.<\/u><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n People like those who ask follow-up questions not only because they enjoy talking about themselves. It also shows that their conversation partner is actively listening. They are paying attention, not looking over your shoulder at someone else. \u201cFollow-up questions are an easy and effective way to keep the conversation going and show that the asker has paid attention to what their partner has said,\u201d the researchers write.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The findings counter the strategy many use when meeting someone for the first time, whether on a blind date or at a networking event. For many, the first step is to try and impress the new person, but research shows that\u2019s not the case.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThe tendency to focus on the self when trying to impress others is misguided,\u201d the study\u2019s authors<\/u><\/a> wrote, adding that \u201credirecting the topic of conversation to oneself, bragging, boasting or dominating the conversation, tend to decrease liking.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s a pretty simple concept: people like talking about themselves and if you allow them, they\u2019ll like you more. \u201cCompared to those who do not ask many questions, people who do are better liked and learn more information from their conversation partners,\u201d Brooks said. <\/u><\/a>\u201cThis strategy does both. It\u2019s an easy-to-deploy strategy anyone can use to not only be perceived as more emotionally intelligent but to actually be more emotionally intelligent as well.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n One of the studies cited by the authors focused on online dating and found that asking follow-up questions meant a greater chance of getting a second date. The researchers found that the top third of question-askers got the most second dates. When researchers looked at face-to-face speed daters, where they met 20 people at a time, they found that asking one more question on each date would help someone succeed in getting a \u201cyes I want to see you again\u201d on one more date.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The 3-question rule has some caveats. You should make sure you\u2019re having a conversation, not an interrogation. \u201cAsking a barrage of questions without disclosing information about yourself may come across as guarded, or worse, invasive,\u201d Brooks says.<\/u><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\nHow do I make new people like me?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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<\/figure>\n\n\n\nHow much should I talk in a conversation?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n