Now those Gen X<\/a> latchkey kids are parenting Gen Z, with the pendulum of working motherhood<\/a> having swung somewhat to the middle. We were raised to believe we could be anything we dreamed of being and that we didn\u2019t have to choose between being a mom and having a career. Gen X also became mothers during the heyday of parenting self-help books<\/a> that impressed upon us the importance of attachment and hands-on childrearing, as well as the era of super-scheduled kids, whose activities alone require a full-time manager.<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n As a result, those of us in our 40s have raised our kids straddling two worlds\u2014one where women can have all of the career success we desire and one where we can choose to be stay-at-home moms who run seemingly effortless households.<\/p>\n\n\n\n At first, we were told we could have it all, but when the impossibility of that became clear, we were told, \u201cWell, you can<\/em> have it all, just not at the same time.\u201d But as many moms are finding as their kids start leaving the nest, even that isn\u2019t the full truth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In 2023, a Facebook post by Karen Johnson, aka The 21st Century SAHM (short for \u201cstay-at-home mom\u201d) nailed the reality many stay-at-home moms in their 40s are facing as they find themselves floundering with the glaring gap in their resumes.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThis is for all the moms in their 40s who put their careers on hold to do the SAHM thing because you knew you couldn\u2019t do both\u2014career you loved and motherhood\u2014and do both WELL, so you picked, saying to yourself, \u2018This is just for now and we\u2019ll see,\u2019\u201d Johnson wrote. \u201cBut now it\u2019s 15 years later and so much has changed in your career field that you know you can\u2019t go back. So really, when you \u2018took a break\u2019 all those years ago, you gave it up.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Johnson explained that yes, moms know they should be grateful for the time they\u2019ve had with their kids. Most are. That\u2019s not the issue. Whether a woman chose to be a stay-at-home mom because she really wanted to or because childcare costs didn\u2019t work in the financial equation of the family, the transition out of it feels like completely uncharted waters.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOkay, so you\u2019re looking for a \u2018career\u2019 with part-time hours and a 100% flexible schedule because you\u2019re still Mom-on-duty but you do have *just* enough hours during the day to reflect on the fact that you *do* have a college degree (maybe even 2) and although being a mom is the greatest and most important job in the world, you *might* actually want something more to your life than folding laundry and running hangry children to 900 events and remembering that they\u2019re all due for dental cleanings,\u201d she wrote.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Yup. The \u201cdefault parent\u201d role<\/a> is real and weighted heavily toward moms<\/a> as it is. For stay-at-home moms, it\u2019s 100% expected, and that doesn\u2019t suddenly end when it\u2019s time to start thinking about joining the workforce again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n So, as Johnson says, \u201cBut for now, you cram yourself into the only pair of jeans you have right now that fit and find a t-shirt on the floor that isn\u2019t clean but isn\u2019t dirty and will pass for the 4 hours of mom-taxiing you\u2019re about to do and you tell yourself, \u2018I\u2019ll figure it out another day. Right now, I gotta get the kids to practice.\u2019\u201d Oof.<\/p>\n\n\n\nAnd, of course, moms barely have time to try to figure all of this out.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
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\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n