{"id":2639,"date":"2025-11-11T12:34:17","date_gmt":"2025-11-11T12:34:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/?p=2639"},"modified":"2025-11-11T12:34:20","modified_gmt":"2025-11-11T12:34:20","slug":"id-cash-my-check-for-thousands-cry-jerk-alone-in-bed-hop-in-my-rolls-royce-and-pretend-it-never-happened-26-year-old-woman-ditches-deceivingly-glamorous","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/?p=2639","title":{"rendered":"\u2018I\u2019d cash my check for thousands, cry-jerk alone in bed, hop in my Rolls-Royce, and pretend it never happened.\u2019: 26-year-old woman ditches deceivingly \u2018glamorous\u2019 lifestyle, now living life \u2018truly, unapologetically\u2019"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u201cIn 2018, I had it all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was making 6 figures doing Lord knows what, literally 26-years-old and making more money than both my parents combined from. my. cell. phone (most days). I had 3 cars (who the HECK needs 3 cars?!), and a big, glamorous house with guest bedrooms. I had crisp, designer clothing, not a speck of fuzz or dust in sight. I made sure of that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My hair was always perfectly blown out, and I\u2019d leave the house for the morning commute at 6:30 a.m. dolled up to high heavens like I was freakin\u2019 Beyonc\u00e9 or something. Lashes, foundation, contour and highlight, red lip, blush, primer, powder, lotion\u2026concealer, eyeliner, self-tanner, mascara\u2026shall I go on?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was THAT girl you would compare yourself to on Instagram with the tropical island, beach, restaurant in the background, tiny waist and martini in the foreground. To most people, I\u2019m sure I looked perfect. That I had everything and more. And I guess I did, at least physically.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But no one saw the real me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I know what you\u2019re thinking already. But you\u2019re rich! I\u2019d rather cry in a Ferrari than a subway station! How spoiled! I wish I was this girl! But\u2026hear me out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what is it exactly then that my friends, family, and followers were missing?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well, I\u2019ll tell you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That 6-figure job? It felt shallow and meaningless. I felt like I had no purpose in life. And, honestly, I got the job out of sheer luck. I didn\u2019t work for it, or feel I earned it. There was no ladder climbing or working up. It felt like a handout. In fact, I\u2019ll never remember being specifically told \u2018you\u2019re hot and you\u2019re hired,\u2019 on my job acceptance message. Here I was, living in luxury while people were actually working, and HARD. The guilt was eating me alive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Those 3 cars? I\u2019d drive them home from work, alternating my cars every 3 days because I couldn\u2019t be caught \u2018double fisting\u2019 (Jesus). So, yeah, I\u2019d drive home, cash my check with literal thousands of dollars every week, get home, and cry my eyes out until I was cry-jerking in bed. Then, I\u2019d get up, get a glass of water, hop in my Rolls-Royce, and act like nothing ever happened. Repression at its finest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That big house? All of that space only made me feel more alone. That guest bedroom? It was always empty. And even when my house was filled with \u2018friends\u2019 and co-workers, I felt entirely alone. Everyone felt fake. After all, they only came around for the parties and left when the night called. And that one, or two, or three times I got too drunk, there was suddenly no \u2018friends\u2019 in sight. I blacked out in the bathroom until morning, wiped my own vomit off, and went back to work. Not a single soul noticed, or even cared enough to ask where I was. In my OWN house. On my lunch break, I painfully scrolled through photos of me and friends side by side, looking perfect, shots in hand with captions like \u2018best friends forever\u2019 and \u2018my ride or dies.\u2019 It made me sick. I can tell you, firsthand, this is one of the most painful feelings in the world. I literally wanted to die.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Those designer clothes? I starved myself to fit into a size 4. Looking back, I\u2019m not really even sure they were my style. I mean, really ME. But it was what everyone else was wearing, so I went along with it. I mean, how DISGUSTING of me to even think to wear last season\u2019s designer, right? Yep, you guessed it. These are the kind of comments I\u2019d hear my peers saying. So, yeah. I hated my body and I hated my clothes (though I\u2019ll admit some were cute). I felt nothing, no rush, no adrenaline, no satisfaction when I swiped my card. It was equivalent to washing my hands after the bathroom. Just something you do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That perfect hair and makeup? I HATED putting it on. Do you know how many times I\u2019ve had to re-apply my foundation to cover up tear tracks? Neither do I. I can\u2019t count. But at least my lipstick matched my pumps and I was serenaded in phrases like \u2018sooooo cute\u2019 and \u2018LOVE them hun!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After a massive mental breakdown, like HUGE, I heard words like \u2018crazy\u2019 and \u2018pyscho\u2019 being passed around about me. Not one person offered a helping hand or kind words, though they did ask for selfies and to even borrow one of my designer blazers I\u2019d gotten at Fashion Week.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But today, I\u2019m different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Today, I focus on me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Today, I am<\/em> me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I live in a little apartment in Brooklyn (which is probably still too expensive, but hey, that\u2019s New York for ya). I dress like ME. I deactivated my social media (though I peer at it from time to time on a secret account). I still wear makeup most days and am still working on self-confidence, but this time around I don\u2019t feel like I NEED all of this junk. I sold one of my cars, and I\u2019m working a mediocre job for now. But this mediocre job? I LOVE IT! And chicken. OH MY GOD, chicken nuggets! I can eat you again!!! Say goodbye size 4! Oh, and while we\u2019re at it. I\u2019M GAY! Woohoo!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m still working on the whole finding \u2018true friends\u2019 thing, but trust me, it\u2019s not easy to find friends in your late 20s when all groups have been established and solidified. But I know that I will eventually now that I\u2019m being truly and unapologetically ME.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And you should be, too.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

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