![\"Beautiful](\"https:\/\/lwm-a2.azureedge.net\/uploads\/2021\/06\/Laura_Mazza_Navigating_Divorce1-900x600.jpg\")
<\/figure>\n\n\n\n\u201cDid you think you\u2019d be married forever? I did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I remember I cried walking down the aisle when I saw his face looking at mine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I remember going on dates and walking up to him and seeing him and we were both smiling at each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I remember him saying that was the best part of seeing me. My smile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I remember him telling me I was beautiful and not just in the way I looked, but on the inside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But people change. They do. They evolve. I\u2019m not the same girl I was 9 years ago. I became different. So different.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We both evolved in ways that our relationship couldn\u2019t keep up with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And although we tried so hard, we couldn\u2019t save it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It hurts. I\u2019ve never felt a pain so bad in my chest before. I know my heart can\u2019t physically break, but I can tell you, it did the day it was over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, I stare at myself in the mirror and I ask myself, what now?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Who am I now?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A single mom with three kids, who is trying to navigate a heartbreak. With no savings to her name. No life goals or plans anymore. No spark left inside of her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No motivation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Every day I ask myself, is it a day to grieve or is it a day to kick ass? And instead I sit somewhere in the middle of procrastinating in both.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We said forever, but forever is a long time to not grow together. And I watch him and he\u2019s a great dad and he will always be my best friend, but he won\u2019t always be my lover. Not anymore. And that hurts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I don\u2019t know if I have any answers for you, if you\u2019re going through the same thing. I know there\u2019s no right way to feel. I know some days it\u2019ll be a kick in the guts looking at old photos and I know some days it\u2019ll be singing Destiny\u2019s Child \u2018Survivor\u2019 on loud while dancing in your underwear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But what I do know for certain is this: if I could go back to that girl walking down the aisle, crying as she looked at the love of her life, thinking this was forever, I wouldn\u2019t whisper in her ear to not do it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Because 9 years together taught her more than she could ever learn, and brought her three beautiful children. Because 9 years taught her so much about herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I would, though, whisper in her ear, \u2018You can get through anything life throws at you.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n