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<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\u201cMy mother remarried when I was 19 and didn\u2019t include me in her wedding. My parents got divorced when I was 3 and my father died when I was 18. My mother married the man she had been dating a year later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At the time my mother remarried, I was in a deep depression, trying to heal from all the years of sexual, mental and physical abuse I had been through since I was very young. Yes, I was a lot back then. I was self harming, on medication for depression and started getting tattoos.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My mom was embarrassed by me. I didn\u2019t really know how much she was then, but, looking back, she has always been embarrassed by me. I have never been invited to meet my mother\u2019s husband\u2019s kids, or to meet my mother\u2019s co-worker friends.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One Thursday night before my mom was married, my boyfriend and I went over mom\u2019s house. As we were leaving, my mom nonchalantly said, \u2018Bob and I are getting married on Saturday. Just a small thing. No one is really going to be there. You\u2019re probably working right?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I was in shock, but I was working on Saturday \u2013 and I could tell my mom didn\u2019t want me there. We walked away and my boyfriend and I discussed how incredibly rude that was on the way home. I didn\u2019t really think much of it because she said it was a small wedding. I thought, maybe they were going to City Hall with two people and that is it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I found out the truth about my mom\u2019s wedding a few years later. My Godmother, who lived almost two hours away, asked me, \u2018Why weren\u2019t you at your mom\u2019s wedding years ago?\u2019 I found out it was a pretty big wedding. Both of my mom\u2019s husband\u2019s kids were there. His sisters were there. My aunt, uncle, Godmother. My older sister was the maid of honor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My mom and my older sister had gone out to pick out dresses together and everyone had planned this wedding without me ever knowing. Had my mom not said something, I would have never known. But that was probably why she did say something. How was she supposed to just all of a sudden be married? And in her mind, she probably thought by saying what she did, it made her not responsible for how horrible this whole situation was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have to admit, it still bothers me that my mom could do this and not think anything of it. I refuse, however, to allow myself to get down because of something my mother has done. She made the decision to exclude me from her wedding and her embarrassment of me is just a reflection of her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yes, of course, I wish things were different. I would have loved to have felt like I matter to my mom. I would have loved for my family to not think I was a horrible daughter because I didn\u2019t show up to my mom\u2019s wedding. I can\u2019t go back and change things. The only thing I can do is honor myself as the amazing woman I am and keep moving forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you have also been excluded by family because they are not comfortable of you or embarrassed by you, please know it is a reflection of them, not you. Sometimes others treat us horribly, in ways they should never. But we do not have to allow them to have control over us and make us not love ourselves. We are worthy of love, from ourselves and others.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n