{"id":11067,"date":"2026-08-07T06:45:40","date_gmt":"2026-08-07T06:45:40","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/?p=11067"},"modified":"2026-08-07T06:45:41","modified_gmt":"2026-08-07T06:45:41","slug":"social-skills-expert-shares-the-similarity-attraction-effect-that-makes-you-instantly-likable","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/?p=11067","title":{"rendered":"Social skills expert shares the \u2018similarity-attraction effect\u2019 that makes you instantly likable"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u201cGet real on what you love, and then highlight that love in other people.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There seem to be two different ways of thinking about who we are attracted to, whether it\u2019s in a romantic or a social relationship. Is it that opposites attract, or do birds of a feather flock together? The evidence overwhelmingly shows that likability has much more to do with what we share with others than with the traits that set us apart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, a 2023 study from the University of Colorado Boulder found that historically, romantic couples tend to share between 82% and 89% of the same personality traits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOur findings demonstrate that birds of a feather are indeed more likely to flock together,\u201d said study author Tanya Horwitz, a doctoral candidate in the Department of Psychology and Neuroscience and the Institute for Behavioral Genetics, in a press release.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"friends,<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Knowing that people tend to like those who are similar to them, you should focus on amplifying what you share in common when you meet someone new.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Vanessa Van Edwards, founder of\u00a0The Science of People\u00a0and author of\u00a0Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People, shared a three-step process to increase your likability that taps into a psychological phenomenon known as the\u00a0\u201csimilarity-attraction effect.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

How to be more likable<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow can we use the similarity-attraction effect to be more likable? Easy. You want to highlight your similarities. Here\u2019s how to do this in an authentic way,\u201d Van Edwards says in\u00a0her video\u00a0before sharing her three-step process:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 1: Search for similarities<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhen you first meet someone, you should constantly be on the lookout for similarities. Are you both drinking red wine? Do you both know the host from work? Do you both love Thai food? Orient your first few conversational topics to find mutual likes and dislikes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 2: Capitalize on similarities<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOnce you find a similarity, don\u2019t let it pass you by. For example, if they think cilantro tastes like soap\u2014because it does\u2014share in the grossness. Double down on that disgusting little herb by saying, \u2018Oh yeah, cilantro is the silent food killer. I\u2019m totally on the same page.\u2019 I\u2019m a big fan of the high five, too. If I hear someone also loves Seinfeld<\/em>, I\u2019m like, \u2018High five.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Step 3: Extend similarities<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThis means using the similarity as a conversational diving board. If you both love watching soccer, ask if they\u2019ve ever played. If they\u2019re big into hiking, ask for their favorite trail and maybe throw out an option to go hike together. This builds on the similarity-attraction effect and creates rapport.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"hiking,<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s also important that when we meet people, we ask them about their likes and dislikes, because one of the quickest tricks to being likable when you meet someone new is to ask plenty of questions.\u00a0Harvard University\u00a0performed a study and found that after you ask someone the first question, ask two follow-ups, and they\u2019ll be much more likely to like you. Studies show that the most likable people\u00a0like others.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, for a tongue-twister takeaway from this likability story: We like people who are like us, and we also like people who like us. \u201cSo get real on what you love, and then highlight that love in other people,\u201d Van Edwards says at the end of her video.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cGet real on what you love, and then highlight that love in other people.\u201d There seem to be two different ways of thinking about who<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":11068,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11067","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/08\/769051427_1603191264803353_6900782168270430848_n.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11067","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11067"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11067\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11069,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11067\/revisions\/11069"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/11068"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11067"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11067"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11067"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}