Conversations about death are never easy, but don\u2019t make them harder than they need to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s always hard to talk about death. Even thinking about it makes many of us uncomfortable at best, filled with dread and terror at worst. When we get the terrible news that someone we know\u2014a loved one, a friend, a colleague, even an acquaintance\u2014is dying, most of us are at a complete loss for words.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Viral video asks people with terminal illness how to talk about death<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A recent Instagram Reel from ABC Australia asks people suffering from terminal conditions: \u201cHow to respond when someone is dying\u201d and \u201cWhat should people say when they hear the news?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s a surprisingly thorny topic, and it\u2019s easy for even the most empathetic and well-meaning people to go astray.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The most common flubs, according to the people who know<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, obviously, they just immediately say \u2018I\u2019m so sorry,\u2019 you know, \u2018How sad,\u2019\u201d one of the women being interviewed said. \u201cAnd then I think they\u2019re lost for words.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
From there, we begin to reach for something productive or supportive to say, all the while being overcome with emotion. It leads to some encounters that the dying don\u2019t always find comforting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Pity<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cPity is the thing you fear the most in people,\u201d the woman said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Empathy, sympathy, compassion, and pity are close cousins. They all have to do with \u201cfeeling bad\u201d for someone, but to various degrees. Pity, of all of them, implies the most detachment and often makes the person receiving it feel inferior or somehow patronized. Pity projects tragedy on someone, and would sound something like \u201cThat\u2019s horrible, you poor thing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Being overly distraught<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s easy for anyone to forget: The person who\u2019s dying may be dreading having to tell everyone and deal with the outpouring of sympathy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOne of my biggest concerns was having to deal with all the people who are trying to offer solace and support but I end up offering support and solace to them,\u201d one man said. \u201cIt becomes quite bloody taxing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIn many ways, I have to support the person I\u2019m telling,\u201d said another, \u201cbecause they\u2019re the ones that are finding out the information for the first time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
While showing your emotions is human, becoming a blubbering mess for the other person to take care of is a little unfair.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Being too optimistic or touting miracle cures<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat they shouldn\u2019t say is, \u2018Oh, there\u2019s this miracle cure they\u2019ve just discovered if you go to Vietnam and have a vegan diet and drink, I don\u2019t know, whatever,\u201d the woman said. \u201cAs if you\u2019re going to disrupt your entire life to try some method of curing this disease when you know perfectly well that if there was a cure for cancer, it would be on the front page of every newspaper in the world.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u2018Have you prayed to God?\u2019\u201d mimed another man. \u201c\u2018Have you tried insert alternative therapy medicine here?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What to say instead<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Truly, there\u2019s nothing you can say that will make someone\u2019s looming death better, but in the moment that they tell you, there are ways to make the interaction supportive, loving, and positive for both parties.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Humor and normalcy<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One man interviewed in the piece said that a little humor, even if it\u2019s a bit crass, can be surprisingly refreshing. \u201cThere were a couple of friends where we basically just kick off each other, and they\u2019re like, \u2018Oh, get over it, it\u2019s only a brain tumor, you\u2019ll be fine.\u2019 And actually those are the easiest phone calls.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It\u2019s actually OK, once the news is out, to talk about other things. Sports, movies, family. It\u2019s uncomfortable for everyone to dwell on the morbid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ask and offer to help<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you\u2019re a Take Charge kind of person, you may take the compassionate approach of wanting to make the person feel better. Instead of talking about a miracle drug you read about online, a better approach is to ask what you can do to make things easier for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
An even better approach is to offer something specific: Can I bring dinner by Thursday? Do you need a ride to the doctor tomorrow? I\u2019m going to the store, please let me know what I can pick up for you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Saying nothing<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ultimately, another added that sometimes the best thing to say is nothing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThey shouldn\u2019t be obliged to say anything at all,\u201d he said. Experts agree. Listening and offering a friendly ear is often more comforting than the most perfectly crafted words.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
If you\u2019re in a pinch, try this, per the Marie Curie charity: \u201cI wish I knew what to say, but I\u2019m here and I\u2019ll continue to be here if you\u2019d like me to be\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ultimately, no one will ever react perfectly to devastating news with the exact right mix of empathy, sympathy, and support when they hear tragic news.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And the people interviewed in the piece understand that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI interpret what they\u2019re saying as \u2018I really care about you and I\u2019m hoping this can help.\u2019 If you use that mindset, it makes all those sorts of things that otherwise might potentially be annoying suddenly become much more nice,\u201d one of the men said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
One of the women summed it up even better:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMaybe just think about being kind, that\u2019s the most important thing.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Conversations about death are never easy, but don\u2019t make them harder than they need to be. It\u2019s always hard to talk about death. Even thinking about<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10701,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10700","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/756340547_3131921180331312_2742398641517260499_n.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10700","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10700"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10700\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10702,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10700\/revisions\/10702"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/10701"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10700"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10700"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10700"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}