They\u2019d gone over the plan a hundred times. The blonde and brunette were certain their bank robbery would go down in criminal history \u2013 though not quite how they imagined.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cOkay, final check,\u201d the brunette said, parking around the corner from the bank. \u201cWhat\u2019s your job?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The blonde counted on her fingers. \u201cNeutralize the guard, access the money, quick exit. Easy peasy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFive minutes,\u201d the brunette stressed. \u201cNot a second more.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The blonde disappeared into the bank. The brunette\u2019s watch ticked loudly. Six minutes. Seven. Eight. Then \u2013 BAM! \u2013 the bank doors flew open.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The blonde emerged, sweating and straining against a rope tied to the massive bank vault, dragging it across the pavement like a disobedient pet. Behind her, a red-faced security guard hobbled awkwardly, his uniform in disarray.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
After a comical struggle to load the vault into their car, the blonde gave up and they sped away, leaving the vault bouncing down the street.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The brunette\u2019s voice reached new octaves. \u201cWHAT POSSESSED YOU TO BRING THE WHOLE SAFE?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The blonde blinked innocently. \u201cYou said to secure the money! I secured all of it!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFOR THE LOVE OF \u2013 I MEANT SECURE THE GUARD AND TAKE THE MONEY FROM THE SAFE, NOT TAKE THE WHOLE SAFE AND LEAVE THE GUARD!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Somewhere behind them, the security guard was still trying to run after the bouncing vault, his pants now completely missing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
They\u2019d gone over the plan a hundred times. The blonde and brunette were certain their bank robbery would go down in criminal history \u2013 though<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1029,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1028","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-story"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/536446166_1337937174448054_6920821642208665586_n-1.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1028","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1028"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1028\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1030,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1028\/revisions\/1030"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/1029"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1028"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1028"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1028"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}