never<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n\u201cThey\u2019re generally not positive statements,\u201d he said. \u201cThe only time you hear those is in some kind of negative conversation. \u2018You never listen to me. You always say this. You never care.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
These \u201cextremes\u201d are fueled by emotion, and while they may make you feel better to use, they\u2019re conversation killers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThey create a lot of friction in the conversation because the conversation is no longer about the issue,\u201d Fisher said. \u201cIt is now about the accuracy of somebody\u2019s statement.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For example, the other person in the conversation will now focus on that. Fisher explains that their thinking shifts to: \u201c\u2018That\u2019s not accurate. I don\u2019t always do that. I don\u2019t never do this.\u2019 And they start to try and pick and poke and look at the accuracy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This can result in a timeline game and a tit-for-tat, \u201creferee\u201d-type situation, where one person \u201cblows the whistle,\u201d leading to a second argument.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
What to do instead<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
There are three things to keep in mind when absolutes come up. First, he highly recommends avoiding these two words completely, if possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
However, he understands that using them happens \u201call the time,\u201d adding that it happens in his own relationships with family and friends. \u201cIt will happen,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So, if you do use them, it\u2019s important to retract them quickly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIf you catch yourself using \u2018always\u2019 and \u2018never,\u2019 be the bigger person and grab it back,\u201d he shared. \u201cCatch it and go, \u2018Actually, not always\u2014a lot of the time. Some of the time. Most of the time.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Second, Fisher suggests saying, \u201cActually, it\u2019s not \u2018never.\u2019 It\u2019s a lot. It feels like a lot to me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Additionally, he recommends keeping the \u201cWhen you, I feel\u201d framework in mind. It looks like this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhen you \u2018X,\u2019 I feel \u2018Y,\u2019\u201d he explained. \u201cWhen you speak to me in that tone, I feel like you\u2019re disappointed in me and I\u2019m doing something wrong. When you leave the food on the counter, I feel like you\u2019re asking me to take care of it and you\u2019re being passive-aggressive.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\nThird, he recommends thinking of the conflict as stating a headline.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c\u2018It\u2019s not always, but I feel like it\u2019s a lot of the time\u2019\u2014then give the statement,\u201d explained Fisher. \u201cI used a headline to give you a preview of what I\u2019m about to say.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He offers another example: \u201c\u2018I want to tell you something that\u2019s important to me, and I\u2019m not saying that it\u2019s never. But I am saying that I feel like sometimes it\u2019s hardly at all.\u2019 Then give what you need to say.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This approach can help you remain objective, according to Fisher.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Jefferson Fisher explains three things to do instead during difficult conversations. Having tough conversations can be nerve-wracking, but they are a necessary part of healthy relationships. However,<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":10203,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10202","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-news"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/07\/743876943_1512861024208217_1677558522088610619_n.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10202","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=10202"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10202\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10204,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10202\/revisions\/10204"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/10203"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=10202"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=10202"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/humorsidehub.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=10202"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}